Born Again

          In my head (and dreams) I write blogs, stories, letters, books, and many other unrealistic “masterpieces”. But when I go to write, I have so much to say that I can never get all of the words out (or I make run-on sentences like this one), and when I do get words on the page, I erase them, rewrite them, become a perfectionist with my grammar and punctuation and eventually get too frustrated to get the first sentence done. I’ve decided that no matter how much I may dislike this writing, or however many mistakes there are, I’m going to finish it and finish it in less than 5 hours! J I believe that Christ uses us and our stories to share His good news, show His love, His grace, His mercy and give HOPE to people who don’t have any. I first want to encourage any of you who are reading this but don’t have a blog because you don’t think you’re “good at it” to open Microsoft Word, notepad or whatever you have and just start writing! If you’re anything like me, you will feel so proud of yourself and relieved to finally get something on paper, regardless of who reads it or how many mistakes you find!

Here we go…

Today’s post is a song. This song came on the radio on my late, long drive home one night and it was the moment I realized the life I was living was not glorifying anybody, not even myself. I was raised in a Christian home with the best parents anyone could ever ask for. I did the “church” thing all my life until I turned 16 and thought I knew everything and I quit “church”. I’ll share more stories of the time in between 16 and 20 later but for now, I am so thankful for this night and song and an undeniable presence of Jesus Christ in my truck. For me, it all started that night. And by all, I mean EVERYTHING. My world was rocked and I haven’t been the same since. Praise God! Let me back up just a few minutes and give you some details. I was at my boyfriend’s house getting in my truck after another destructive and hurtful night. As I left, I turned my radio on, which was set to TRASH FM (pop/rap) and I reached over to change the station to MAKE ME FEEL BETTER FM (country)…we all know that heals our wounds…not! ;) well instead of the station I had set on my radio coming on, MAKE YOU FEEL TERRIBLE ABOUT YOUR LIFE FM (Christian) came on. You know I’m right about these radio station descriptions lol I will honestly admit that when I haven’t had a great day, and by great I mean I haven’t been the most Godly person, nice person or even had anything positive to say about anyone, I will turn on pop/rap or country. The last thing I want to do is turn on Christian radio and feel bad for the sucky person I’ve been that day. Now there are times that I turn it on to put myself in check and get refocused, but I wish I could say I did that more often than the other. Anyways, when my radio didn’t obey me, for some reason I still decided to listen to it. It had been quite a while since I listened to 94.9 (Christian station) (for many reasons that I still struggle to listen to it today but we won’t go into that!). The song that came on was a new release and the intro was much more “rock” than the other “pretty” typical songs that they played. I was intrigued. After listening for a few seconds, I pulled over on the side of the road to really listen to the words…I can remember being numb, tingly and I felt like you could hear my heart beat 5 states over. I then began the ugly cry… you know what I’m talking about! Tears, snot, gasping for air, and ugly snorts all flowed from my body. I was shaking and totally overwhelmed by what I now know as the Holy Spirit. I really don’t know how long I sat there but the only things that came out of my mouth were “I’m so sorry, please forgive me, what do I do now? How can You really love me this much?!” The rest of the drive home was a blur and even the next couple of days were a blur, too. All I can say about that night on Highway 50 is THANK YOU JESUS. Here is the song that changed my life on that depressed, damaged, lonely, late night.

BORN AGAIN- Third Day

Today I found myself

After searching all these years

And the man that I saw, he wasn't at all who I thought he'd be

I was lost when you found me here

And I was broken beyond repair

Then you came along and you sang your song over me

 

It feels like I'm born again

It feels like I'm living

For the very first time

For the very first time

In my life

 

Make a promise to me now

Reassure my heart somehow

That the love that I feel is so much more real than anything

I've a feeling in my soul

And I pray that I'm not wrong

That the life I have now, it is only the beginning

 

It feels like I'm born again

It feels like I'm living

For the very first time

For the very first time

It feels like I'm breathing

It feels like I'm moving

For the very first time

For the very first time

 

I wasn't looking for something that was more

Than what I had yesterday

Then you came to me and you gave to me

Life and a love that I've never known

That I've never felt before

 

It feels like I'm born again

It feels like I'm living

For the very first time

I'm living for the first time

It feels like I'm breathing

It feels like I'm moving

For the very first time

I'm living for the first time

In my life